It's now& forever, JAPX3

(L) ♥

140908.
It was a pleasant day, had fun with the girls at night (:

On phone till 12plus, heart to heart talk(?) Lol.

At least I felt much better, but I was very tired and was fast asleep.

Thanks, Terms&Conditions ♥

150908.

Woke up late then rush for school. The sky quite dark so it was about to

rain, then I hurried to school cos I scared later sudden downpour. Lol.

But never, so it was still okay. But the weather was dam cooool :/

Lessons were pretty alright today. Had history, maths, physics,homeroom

and art. Teacher say he's quite surprised that a handful of them passed

the history prelim paper. Of course, I'm not included cos I didn't really

study for my seq :P 20+ passes in total, it's not bad alright. Cos the sbq

quite tedious, he said not many could catch what the picture was trying

to show. But nvm, I know history is a gone case. Maths leh, teacher also

said it's badly done, 17 passes only. Paper2 was difficult, not many people

score well for paper2. That's why ba. Sighs. Sad-ed.

Physics was boring.. Did 3 surveys during homeroom, then went lunch

with Jasmine. Had 2hours of art, but I did nothing much.

Searched for new pictures, gonna do my art tonight. And I'm really

going to do it. If not, everytime kena suan by him. Zz.

It's going 7pm already, gonna watch the 7pm show on channel8.

I hate that Kaiqi, I think she s****. Lol. I know it's just a show, but

she's like a bitch trying to seduce other people's husband. Such people

should go to hell man. And that's how the ending it's like. Haha.

I hate such people who try to seduce other people de lover, very what lo.

I will surely give the person one tight slap if it ever happens to me.

-Laughs. Am I too exaggerating? Lol.

I had enough of everything, Like I told Treaty just now,

'Everything was just a lie, & I shall stop deceiving myself.'

There's too many things that's happening, and I hate everything

that's happening to me. It's not just one incident, it's MANY!

I know I can't runaway from all these, I will face it. No matter what

outcome it will be, I'll accept everything/anything. Life's always

so unfair, Life always have ups& downs. Shall take it as part as parcels

of life. Be it I will learn from all these, or just break apart I will still

stay strong. Even if there's nobody out there who cares, who's

willing to listen to all my sorrows. I will still stay strong.

I know I can't fall down so easily, I know I can't let my emotions to

take control of me. I know I know. If that really happens, I'll just

keep quiet and tell no one. Even if he's not there for me, I will

not blame him. I'll take it as he's too busy to entertain me. Right?

Whatever it is, being alone is the right choice I guess.

To you - Maybe everything was not suppose to be like this

in the beginning. We shouldn't have gone so far right, both of us got

hurt and keep suffering over& over again. I know I'm naive and selfish.

But do you know why I'm like this? Have you ever thought why am I

doing all those things? For who? For what? What's the use?

'Love is a selfish thing' Do you know that? Who would want to see their

loved ones not concerning about them but showing more concern

to other people? Who would want to lose their loved ones when they

already had a place in their heart, and it's deep down their heart?

Who would want to go crazy for their loved ones? WHO!

There's right and wrong, but not everytime I'm wrong. You're wrong

sometimes too, and you push the blame to me.

It hurts and I don't know why you keep doing this to me.

How I feel deep down inside me, do you know? Sighs.

Like I've said before, I don't understand you nor do you understand me.

It's like we're from two different world(?) After all those rain& shine,

we're like strangers still? It's like being so close, yet so far apart.

It seems like we're difting away from each other, not the same as before.

I want those memories, I want those happiness!

But.. it's no longer there.

& Seriously, it breaks my heart each and every day to see us like this.

Does it matter to you now? Or you don't even bother about it?

To you, I've got nothing more to say.

I want to stop pretending, because I don't wish to be like you.

Racking my brain, Going insane

Again and again. I cant keep going this way.