Perhaps I still couldnt ..

This isn't what I want!

Everything's so contradicting.

Hellohellohello! I'm back after soooooooo long! My internet was cut off because my brother didn't pay up again. *Screw him.* He expect me to share half with him because he claimed that I used the most. Hahah, but whatever! I'm not working anyway and I don't have money for you! :/ In the end he still paid for the internet and scv! Afterall, I still thinks my brother is nice! Hahah.

This week had been quite a busy cum tiring week. I guess it had always been the same since the start of school. Same old things, schoolwork-coursework-syf. Syf's coming in about 2weeks' time and we had extra practices which are going to be so dreadful. But I'm going perserver till Syf's over and I can step down from cca and concentrate on my studies and coursework. Jiayou dancers, GWH! "Seh lor deng tai lor, deng tai lor tai lor!" Hhahahaha!

My coursework had been quite alright for me. I'm a little behind time because I've just finished my third board while others are already finishing their fourth board. But I'm happy because after getting 2 red stickers, I've finally gained 2 yellow stickers with positive comments by mr.tgl. Just hand in my 5th submittion which I don't think I did quite well. Pretty hope I won't get red sticker again. *Cross fingers!*

What I need is just Time Management. Sighs. It's killing me alright! I hadn't been a good girl studying. Mid year's round the corner and I'm still slacking around like nobody's business. I'm so aware about midyear-coursework-syf and everything but I just couldn't be discipline enough to have time management. *Slap myself for that.* I swear that I'm so not going to do well for midyear if I don't buck up now. I'm still trying so hard to catch up on maths&science. Not to mention about english, it's a big F9 for me! *Rolled eyes.*

Oh ya, there's something very random I wanna share. Yesterday after Bridging, I went for lunch then slack around then went home. On the way home, it was raining heavily but I've got no choice but to cross the traffic without an umbrella. So there's this kind auntie who walked towards me and shelter me. So nice of her can! She shelter me all the way till my block because she stays near me. Lol. On the way home, she was talking about her daughter who had graduated from ytss and is now at university. Hahah. She still warned me to bath straight away when I get home if not I'll fall sick. I think I was so lucky yesterday! If not I would be so drenched when I reached home.

My tooth is hurting me again! I think it's gonna drop out sooner or later. Sighs. I hate the dentist. Okay, I know I'm being random again. (;

It's getting late and I have to go to bed now! Hopefully I won't be yawning away tomorrow. No Monday Blues tomorrow pleaseeeeeeee! Hahah. I will try to put on a smile from now on instead of pulling my face down and emo at one corner. Sounds so idiotic, but whatever! :D Being Happy = Being Healthy! This is PEIMEI's philosophy, please agree with me and BE A HAPPY PERSON! (: Goodnight.

Is this going to lead me to anywhere?

I feel so lost every since that moment stopped, why am I still contradicting myself.

It's obvious that everything's gone but I still couldn't accept the fact.

Am I really happy or am I just pretending to be happy?

I hate myself now, I really do. Please help me!