Flunk it all.

Time keep ticking away like a bomb,

ready to blow away my last shred of sanity.

I smile because I only know sadness, I laugh because I find comfort in pain.

--

Yes man, I'm so going to fail my combine humanities. I'm all ready to get scolding from him when we're getting our papers back. Can't help it, I wasn't in the mood to study for socialstudies yesterday. Like seriously, no mood! I tried reading and taking down notes, sadly, nothing goes into my head. I gave up and I slept -.- And there goes my answer for today's seq, 4lines and that's it. Very hopeless, yes indeed, very! Don't want to talk about it already, it's over.

--

Was browsing through those photos and I found some pictures for the china trip I went during sec3. I miss those kids very much, the teachers and aunties there were also very nice. How I wish I can go there again.. ):

Cute right? (:

Bringing them out to the playground. (My retard face -.-)

Ooooo, can you see my eyes? Lololol.

Memories..

):

Impossibilities.

A dream I never want to end.

I took a nap in the evening just now, I woke up and kept smiling to myself. (Yes, you may think I'm crazy.) But I was really very happy lor, cause I had this very funny yet ridiculous dream. I told someone about it, and that person LAUGHED at me can! Lol, okay nevermind. But this is a dream I'm gonna remembered it, hahah! :D

--

Had our mother tongue paper today, right, I screwed up my compo please. In fact, I screwed up for both my mother tongue and english compo. My points were so ridiculous and I think I wrote out of point for my english compo. Sighs, F9 for english again mannnnnxszxs! Yesterday's english paper2 was even worst, the passage so long made me want to sleep. But I didn't fall asleep okay, I focus on the passages but the questions were so difficult. I did so many cancellations to my summary and my whole paper looked so untidy. Darn it. Today's mother tongue paper2 was quite manageable but when I checked my answers with Ai, our answers like almost all very different. Shitx10 mannnnnzxsxz! Am I going to flunk my language papers badly? Sucks, screwed it upppppppp! D:

--

After our paper, we planned to go peninsula to get something initially. Ended up not going because of don't know what reason. Hahhh. But everyone seemed so moody lor, then roamed around northpoint and even stoned at bus interchange for minutes! Hahhah, J suggested to go library so we went there and she took all the Seventeen's magazine. (So kiasu right.. hahahahah! :/) Had a great laugh at some parts of it, and found out something disgusting. About the 'sew up and cut open thingy', super gross can! Blablahh, left at around 330pm? Yea, and we went home after that. And I seriously regretted going home so early!! Really, I should have stayed on longer and wait for miracles to happen. Heh, just joking. But I really don't like to go home so early. Luckily my Sis were at home and she brought nephew along. But when I reached home, both my nephew and niece sleeping. Hahahh. Waited for them to wake up and I kind of play with them, I took a photo with my nephew too :D and a few photos of my niece and nephew. Conclusion : It's not easy to take pictures of babies! They tend to move about and cannot stay still for long, and that's the annoying part. Hahhaha! :P

After which, I took a long nap till 8pm! :D That's when I had this funny yet ridiculous dreammmmmm. Hehhhh! & I'm so happy today, really very happy. Was so high that I went crazy, hhhahah! :D I want everyday to be like this, so happy! (If only..)

--

Bridging tomorrow, last lesson - really don't feel like going but have no choice lor. Sians half. Hopefully tomorrow I won't waste so much of my time and I can study for my humanities. (:

Okay, that's all for today! I'm getting abit restless - nights all!

--

SYF :

I asked them to pose this with me, heh :D

I never expected this to happen, I thought you were nice.

Is this coincidence or you just want to avoid me on purpose?

RAHHHH. I shouldn't have make the first step.

Tears of joy.

First of all, WellDone YTCD! We've made the school proud, our efforts had really paid off.
But please don't forget our "Seh lo deng tai lo" okay. (L) ♥

Syf's over, result's out. I'm out of dance and it's time for me to concentrate on my coursework now. It's already mid-april and tomorrow will be the start of our midyear examinations. English is the killer subject, hopefully I can stay focus for that few hours reading the passage and answering the questions carefully. Peeps, jiayou for our upcoming papers! (:

I hate busy schedule. Screwed it up yo. Zz.

--

I'm truly sorry about what I've said. I shouldn't have even said those words to hurt you and make you feel even worst. I'm really sorry, really sorry! I'm so stupid cannnnn. Please slap me. ):

Liars go to hell.

AH.LOY HAVE DARK EYE RINGS! :O Fugly!
I've discovered it only like yesterday! I stared at the mirror for a long time, the more I see the more I feel like covering up with all the protection I can. Argh. So irritating can. I feel like a panda now, regretted for staying up late for countless nights. & I ought to do something about it, YESSS! (but look at the time now, it's 11:43pm! wth.)

But nevermind, I think it's alright cause these few weeks gonna burn alot of midnight oil. It's not healthy to burn midnight oil, but I've got no choice! Hahah. School's been really tiring and stressful, everybody's trying their best to focus and I can't be lacking behind! Today, I went for art and teacher marked our prep boards. Got back the same marks as the last submittion, and I wasn't very pleased with the marks. Like what teacher have said, I could have done better than what I'm doing now. Sighs, really have to rush out the 2 boards before art exam! Must really jiayouuuuuuu ahh! JOELYNN LIM, Jiayou tooooooo! :D

Anyway, tomorrow will be the release of our syf result. Really hope we get ourselves a good result, very worried ah! :/ All the best tooo us man! :D:D:D:D:D "Seh lo deng tai lo"!

--

Confused.

Stop avoiding, It's annoying!
I just want to have a nice talk with you, but you kept avoiding! You continue to avoid, the problems will get worsen only. Do you really want to wait till things happen then you will stop avoiding?

--

I tried to hold but it hurts too much.

Lost and Insecure.

Oh my god, oh my god! AH.LOY slept for 14 hours! Hahahah, I feel so good can!! :D It's been so long since I last slept for sooooo long. Gahhhh gahhh! First time of the year I woke up at 8plus on sunday morning! But that's not something to be proud of, :/ Hahahh. Guess I was really worn-out, I think I will do the same thing next saturday! WHOORAYYY! :D

Ahhh. Anyway, we went to UCC for our last practice yesterday. It's kind of dreadful cause everyone looked so tired eh. Slept throughout the journey - and we reached there before 10am.Went to the toilet to put on our 'hats' and the time was just right. Went in the hall, and started practicing. Went through 3 full rounds, the last round was stopped halfway because the time was up. So sad lah, cos we were confident that the last round would be a perfect one. But was stopped by the security guard, ahhh dam it. Came out and waited for the bus to come, this time I sat on the floor with ky and felicia and we slept all the way till we reached school. Haahah. Reached school and we had our lunch break.. watched the video taken during the practice at ucc. Gao lao shi said the 3rd round was the best and we got compliments from her. Goodgood! :D Dancers, tomorrow will be the day! Let's just put in our best for that few minutes on stage and get ourselves a fantastic result. :D Jiayouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu dancers! "Seh lor deng tai lor!"

--

Reporting to school at 830am tomorrow, jealous not? Hahhaha!

I'm gonna take manymany pictures with them tomorrow, especially with my 'group' :D

Ps : Mo said she's going to make breakfast for us tomorrow! YAYYYYY! I no need wake up early to go mac for breakfast!.. hahahahah! :D

--

Ewwwww. AH.LOY's having a stomache right now! ): & my legs' aching tooo, pretty hope it won't hurt so much tomorrow!

--

ALL THE BEST FOR CHINESE DANCERS! GWH! ♥

There you are, but I just don't have the courage to make the first move.

If i make the first move, will you ignore me or being very sarcastic?

AHHH. I don't know, I just feel that you dont want me to exist. Right? ):

Can you please make the first move? :/

It's beyond just disappointment.

I feel like killing you now ;

I feel so cheated, very cheated!

You said you don't, but I have the feeling that you are. But well, since you don't want me to bother about you - I shall stop bothering. Perhaps the 'lucky ones' will be able to hear something from you. Good for you, at least you found someone to talk to. I guess, being a substituition for so long it's enough. Until now then I found out the truth, it's a little too late but I just have to admit that I'm such a great fool. Suffered so much, went through so much of pain and harship, in the end, I was just a substituition. I dont blame you, cos it's me who initiated all these. So be it, for now I shall let nature takes its course. If you really want to stop contacting with me, go ahead. But I'll still be waiting for your message, perhaps for some 'good news'/

--

I'm so stressed up! Please tell me what to do yaaaaaaaaa. :/

Struggling with art, persisting in dance! Now's already 18april and our syf is on MONDAY! I really cannot imagine how well will we perform. I definitely want everything to turn out smoothly ehhh. Had dance practice today, was seriously so worn-out and we ended at 7pm! Everybody looked so pale and weak towards the end of practice. But no matter how tired are we, we still have to persist till later! Going over to UCC to rehearsal for monday's competition and it's going to be the last..last practice before the syf. Jiayou dancers! We have to put in all our efforts to get what we all wanted! I believe we can do it! \m/

Art is killing me for the time being. I did nothing for the last 2weeks and I had nothing to submit for my 6th submittion. I know that I will surely get a harsh scolding from him when I go back to school on tuesday. But I admit that it's my fault, as I didn't put in much effort for this submittion. Feel so lacking behind, just like how I was at the beginning of the year. See the red stickers I've got make my heart pain. Tsk, what the hell. This submittion is going to be a red sticker tooooooooo! *Embarassed.

--

Sighs, I don't know what I should do ahhhhh.

I thought I could put all those thoughts behind me for some time, but seems like everything's out of control again. Why must such things happen at this point of time! F.. I don't know I don't know I don't know. I just want to think positive now!

Why can't you just sit down and talk to me nicely? What's so great about your pride? Why must you always think about urself before others? Do you really think you've done nothing wrong? Sighs, no point grumbling about all this. Because you simply won't care about anything. You're always in your own world and that's you. I hate it, I hate it so much. If I'm worst, I think you're no better than me. Dammm. Please think about it, really. THINKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

--

PEIMEI, coooooooool downnnnnnnnnn.

You can do it! "Think Positive, Be Optimist!"

(:

Silence.

Voices Unspoken, Dreams Forgotten.

This is going to be temporary, I guess.

It reflects deeply upon everything - & it's for me to know and for you to find out.

" When there's a will, there's a way. "

It's time to move on, girl. No point dwelling onto the past, it will only hurts you more. Why not just move on, you'll never know what the future will brings.

"Life's short, Live it with no regrets. "

--

I'm just a little emotional now, but I'll be fine tomorrow. I must learn to get over things soon and be happy about every other little things that will bring on a smile to me.

BLACK = EMO?

No, not really. It looks cool to me and not Emo, but Green is definitely the coolest of all! Hahah. (:

#54.

Long weekends.

It's no small thing to say goodbye.

Long weekends. Spent my friday afternoon at home, went out in the evening with J&S for singing session. Home at around 1140pm. Yesterday, supposed to meet Chickens at 7am but I woke up late! Rushed there and waited for everyone to come and had our breakfast made by Jasmine. (Manymany loves) Then went parade square to do our warm-ups(?) So wrong, but there was no choice but to do it there. Dance practice was alright, not as tedious as last week's. Left the last week to practice, and it's gonna be the big day for all of us. Add oil girls, GWH! :D

Today. Woke up quite late, had my brunch and went online. After that, went out to study with EvilTwin. & I was late today! :/ Sorry! We started to gossip again, hahahhaha! And my eviltwin is really evil... hahaha! :D Guess what! I can use the internet through my phone! I found out only today, so dumb rightttt. Hahah, Yayness! :D Next time if I've got no internet, at least I can use my phone to go online! (: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D

--

You promised me you won't do it again, please keep your promise.

You do it again, I won't talk to you again! (:

FREAKING HAPPYYYYYYYY!

Blog hopped for a long time, because I was so stucked at someone's blog :D Oh my god, she's so freakingggggggg cute! (: Saw some of her photos, the past and the present. Of course, present is the best! Wahahahah. God damn cuteeeeeeeee can! :D

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! I'M SMILING TO MYSELF NOW! :D

Okay, I'm done with that someone's blog. It's almost going 2am, got to go sleep and try to wake up early tomorrow! (: Dont think will be going out with dumbasses, perhaps asking my evil twin out to study! :D

I WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALLLLLLLLLLLL!
I WANT TO GO FOR TANNINGGGGGGGGGG!

Yawns~

Happpppppy 1st!

Happy 1st, Dumbasses!

-

Yes. It's 090409! One year for dumbasses, loves! ♥ I super love them, we've been through so much and we shared all those tears and joys. All those crazy times we had together, all those times we emo together, all those times we ate 'hokkien mee' together, all those times when we let our hearts out together! It's all so memorable, I swear. Thanks for always being there for me whenever I need your. You all are so great! :D

Perhaps I still couldnt ..

This isn't what I want!

Everything's so contradicting.

Hellohellohello! I'm back after soooooooo long! My internet was cut off because my brother didn't pay up again. *Screw him.* He expect me to share half with him because he claimed that I used the most. Hahah, but whatever! I'm not working anyway and I don't have money for you! :/ In the end he still paid for the internet and scv! Afterall, I still thinks my brother is nice! Hahah.

This week had been quite a busy cum tiring week. I guess it had always been the same since the start of school. Same old things, schoolwork-coursework-syf. Syf's coming in about 2weeks' time and we had extra practices which are going to be so dreadful. But I'm going perserver till Syf's over and I can step down from cca and concentrate on my studies and coursework. Jiayou dancers, GWH! "Seh lor deng tai lor, deng tai lor tai lor!" Hhahahaha!

My coursework had been quite alright for me. I'm a little behind time because I've just finished my third board while others are already finishing their fourth board. But I'm happy because after getting 2 red stickers, I've finally gained 2 yellow stickers with positive comments by mr.tgl. Just hand in my 5th submittion which I don't think I did quite well. Pretty hope I won't get red sticker again. *Cross fingers!*

What I need is just Time Management. Sighs. It's killing me alright! I hadn't been a good girl studying. Mid year's round the corner and I'm still slacking around like nobody's business. I'm so aware about midyear-coursework-syf and everything but I just couldn't be discipline enough to have time management. *Slap myself for that.* I swear that I'm so not going to do well for midyear if I don't buck up now. I'm still trying so hard to catch up on maths&science. Not to mention about english, it's a big F9 for me! *Rolled eyes.*

Oh ya, there's something very random I wanna share. Yesterday after Bridging, I went for lunch then slack around then went home. On the way home, it was raining heavily but I've got no choice but to cross the traffic without an umbrella. So there's this kind auntie who walked towards me and shelter me. So nice of her can! She shelter me all the way till my block because she stays near me. Lol. On the way home, she was talking about her daughter who had graduated from ytss and is now at university. Hahah. She still warned me to bath straight away when I get home if not I'll fall sick. I think I was so lucky yesterday! If not I would be so drenched when I reached home.

My tooth is hurting me again! I think it's gonna drop out sooner or later. Sighs. I hate the dentist. Okay, I know I'm being random again. (;

It's getting late and I have to go to bed now! Hopefully I won't be yawning away tomorrow. No Monday Blues tomorrow pleaseeeeeeee! Hahah. I will try to put on a smile from now on instead of pulling my face down and emo at one corner. Sounds so idiotic, but whatever! :D Being Happy = Being Healthy! This is PEIMEI's philosophy, please agree with me and BE A HAPPY PERSON! (: Goodnight.

Is this going to lead me to anywhere?

I feel so lost every since that moment stopped, why am I still contradicting myself.

It's obvious that everything's gone but I still couldn't accept the fact.

Am I really happy or am I just pretending to be happy?

I hate myself now, I really do. Please help me!